Travel Stories

Bali Seafood Restaurant in Bangkok. By Trever Madsen

If you ever have the luxury of using the urinal at the Hoppin Bali Seafood restaurant in Bangkok, Thailand, please make sure to be prepared. This restaurant is a mega bar, restaurant, music (on big screens) both live and recorded, and many many (about 3-4000 young Thai) eating and drinking and socializing.

Well when you inevitably get up to use the urinal as my friend Anssi did you come back as a westerner laughing out loud and feeling a bit violated. Anssi's exact words to me after i said i had to use the restroom, "hey you enjoy that, you will like it a lot."

A friend of mine that Anssi and i met "Fon" led me to the toilet where i was greeted by 5 helpers/attendants (there were many more) these were the ones that leached onto me. The first one offered me a handshake and pointed me in the direction of the toilets and urinals. I caught on to what was going on so i walked far down the line of about 20 urinals to avoid them. NO CHANCE! I line myself up a urinal and this is where the fun began (I hated it!) i took my pants down and tried to begin as the first set of hands started to work the shoulder region. Next I felt the feel of a cold towel hit my neck and begin to massage my neck to cool of the Bangkok heat. At this point i thought i was getting either robbed or the dudes were perverts. But before i could even think to worry about the first two another jumped in began to work my lower back and sides. Still yet to even start due to the ultimate stage freight and the side massager intermittently reaching from both sides to flush the urinal before i had even started. Just when i was about to think it couldn't get and weirder another guy dropped down and began to massage my calves and legs, that was the breaking point i started to laugh out loud hysterically...Yet to even begin; it was like being up in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded, down 3 runs, facing Randy Johnson with a wiffle bat and no arms. After about the 4th look over my shoulder and the newly appointed flusher who stood right beside me while the 4 others worked the back and legs and the towel man, i finally kicked it in to gear and finished the job. As soon as i was done they promptly brought me to the sink as the guy pumped my soap and ran the water as he helped my wash my hands as i elbowed him away.

The next comment was "5 of us, 100 baht , 20 each" which is roughly $3 US... I was laughing so hard at this point that i pulled all the change i had out of my pocket and left the sardine packed water closet as fast as i could.

AHHH, nothing like a relaxing day at the bathroom. when i returned to our table Anssi just started laughing, he knew exactly what i was going to go through. I was astonished that we was so cool about the whole thing and was able to contain himself and not blow the surprise. A truly great maneuver on Anssi's part.

Read more CircleThePlanet: Travel Stories